Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Discontentment

I have huge issues. I guess if I admit to them, I can make a shift in the right direction. Here's the deal...

I decide how I think things should go for me-- you know, big life events in a certain order at a certain time. I have this notion that if I believe it, it will happen. Some call it faith, but it might be a more hocus-pocus type of thinking. I'm leaning toward the second. Anyway, I really think that everything is going to be just like my plan because I believe it. Guess what? It never happens according to my plan. I end up completely devastated every time. You might think it would be normal to be disappointed about such things. But the disappointment is not the problem, although it does get old. The event itself is not that big of deal. I can revise "the plan." But, I start looking at everyone else's course of life, and wondering why mine doesn't go like whoever else. By comparing me to other random people, I start to be ungrateful and discontent. These thoughts start coming into my mind..."Nothing ever goes right." "What did I do to deserve this?" "I try so hard to do everything right..."

The point is not to throw away goals and dreams. Stop comparing apples to oranges. God devised a plan that was picked out for me as unique as my DNA. Do I trust Him to work out things for good, or do I want to control everything? When I look at the way things turn out that I try to control, it is never a good thing. The goal is to be grateful for what I have today, and trust God for what I need tomorrow.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nothing ever happens in our timing. Its all on God's watch. We just have to trust in Him. Everything will be ok Jess. Patience is a vurtue and God rewards those who diligently seek Him. So just hang on, the plan will work out!

Jessica said...

Thanks, Ash! :)

Lisa said...

Sis,
Great to hear from you again!

Just relax! God has everything under control. The more you stress and try to make things happen, the worse things get. Just relax and rely on God. He knows when you need what you need. He's gotten you this far. He's not going to let you down now. I know how blessed you are right now and so things will happen, just relax and let them.

I love ya bunches!!!

Jessica said...

thanks Lis... miss you, too.